I’m no stranger to the high society of hot cups of joes. Many a coffee bean has been sacrificed toward my critical considerations for conferring the elusive title of a beautiful coffee to a blistering trophy of java. Some of the greats we’ve seen over the years include the compelling Filter Coffee at the Airlines Hotel, Bengaluru, the captivating Special Organic Jaggery Coffee at Paakashala, MG Road, Bengaluru, the authoritative Fresh Coffee at Vaishali, Pune, and, no surprises here, the allegedly unassailable, all-guns-blazing, concocted by the spirit of Lady Liberty herself, the Coffee at Mr. Tea, Kaggadasapura, Bengaluru. The conservatives may argue that a cup of coffee must be true to itself, in that it must be constituted of finely ground coffee beans, water, and nothing else. But what they must yield to, as connoisseurs of the bitter brew, is the verity of heterogeneity and assortment. When the killer bean strolls, saunters, or perhaps even waltzes into your face, captures your taste buds, and strong-arms them into pure rapturous bliss, there is no reason to protest against the weapon skins on his shooting iron. I henceforth put forth the notes from my excursion, my journey, my expedition to unravel the uncharted path taken by the Wandering Bean. Day 1: A Tropical Adventure The coconut nut is a giant nut. Therefore, of course, it goes extremely well with coffee. The Tropical Coconut blend presents itself as a gentle introduction to the theory of finding the intersection between flavors picked from disjoint sets. To prevent being construed as the bearers of blasphemy, it appears that both flavors hold themselves back, to perhaps avoid blindsiding the faint of heart. However, one can readily see the potentiality of their alliance, which if left unchecked, could become a force to be reckoned with. Day 2: Hon hon hon French fries are correctly admired as the cornerstone of a nutritious breakfast, typically enjoyed with a side of high fashion and a love for the arts and entertainment. Except French fries aren't French. Neither is French toast. And perhaps the most sacrilegious of them all, neither is French Vanilla. The French Vanilla blend is definitely the eager pleaser - both the vanilla and the coffee flavors make their presence immediately known, while also abstaining from flashbanging one's palette. This blend is true to the idea of a blend, evanescing entirely into your favorite coffee excipient. Surprisingly, the French Vanilla surprises no one - the comfort combo that serves as the perfect kick in the pants to start the day off strong. Day 3: Now we're getting nutty Hazelnut goes so incredibly well with chocolate. Ferrero Rocher. A cult classic. Chocolate goes so incredibly well with coffee. The Mocha at College Library, Madison, WI. The most prudent nightcap, best had at 10 pm for some double banana overtime. By the second law of thermodynamics, it follows that hazelnut should go incredibly well with coffee, right? Right? Turns out, Einstein was wrong, and so was yours truly. Although the Nutty Hazelnut blend is, by all means and accounts, a decent coffee flavor, your Honor, all evidence indicates that hazelnut and coffee were a match made on planet Earth, not in Heaven's Kitchen, and certainly not in Hell's Kitchen. A forensic analysis further reveals the existence of particulate matter within permissible levels, with the disposition of K-Means clustering, K>100. A future direction of our research would be to complete the Holy Trinity by harmonizing some Hershey's chocolate syrup into the mix. Day 4: You have arrived at your destination When I started this odyssey, this globetrotting, this pilgrimage to walk in the footsteps of the Wandering Bean, I was an uninitiated, uneducated, wet behind the ears, inexperienced, born yesterday, uncultured amateur. The words you read at this moment come from a boy/man/Shrek who has beheld the spectrum in its entirety, from the neutral watered-down taste of some dihydrogen monoxide, the unforgiving malevolence of the Americano at Blue Tokai Coffee Roasters, Bengaluru, to the potentially best coffee our species has been licensed to manufacture without causing the heat death of the universe. The Coffee at Mr. Tea, Kaggadasapura, continues to hold the title of the Best Unadulterated Coffee of All Time, and fiercely defended the title of the Best Coffee of All Time. However, we now have a new world champion among us! The title holder for the Best Coffee of All Time, the One, the Only, the Immortal, the Impossible, the Earth-Shattering, the Mind-and-Body-Numbing, the Probably-More-Addictive-Than-Cocaine, the Should-Be-Offered-To-The-Gods-In-Holy-Sacrifice, the Joe of all Mamas, the Java of all Pythons, the Ultimate Blend - the Creamy Caramel by the Wandering Bean. It is left as an exercise for the reader to buy a beaker-sized canister of this sinful goodness that, if consumed wisely, could potentially bring world peace. The writer expresses sincere gratitude to the Boys for their many gifts, blessings, and more than several cups of some high-quality coffee. The writer wishes them well, and hopes they will all have a good afternoon.